b'THE ROGUE HEADCHOCKS AWAY!A new school year ahead, and our rogue head has been beavering away in the meantime. The returning governors, however, only want to fill their bellies. The long-suffering head reports Another school year arrives and I for one am reallyour teachers. Naturally I never expected them to turn looking forward to seeing all of our wonderful staffup for the first time in a year and congratulate us on again, along with our wonderful students, theirworking so hard to keep teaching in the most trying wonderful parents, and of course our wonderfulof circumstances, but it was still a surprise that the governors.only thing the chair said when he arrived was: Are we having a special meal to celebrate meeting in person This summer has been particularly tedious because itagain? was so difficult to jet away, or even to get away. After a year stuck here at Canute College, the last thing IFood, glorious food!wanted was a fortnight on a crowded Spanish beachNow we all know that food matters more to most followed by a fortnight locked in the school attic or,governors than how their school is performing, but I worse, a converted youth hostel at the back of Gatwickhad hoped that a year at home might have weaned our airport. And because we are a seaside school it soonboard off their need for canaps during conversations, became clear that if we left the school grounds it woulddinner during discussions and drinks during decisions. take two weeks to get back in again, such was the trafficFat chanceand fat governors! The meeting soon queue stretching all the way back to the motorway,turned into a debate about whether lunch had been fifteen miles away. good enough, which took them until tea time when the Bishop punched the senior partner of a major Ahead of the game accountancy firm because he took the last chocolate So, like many other heads, I spent the summer holidaysbiscuit. Eek.in my office, with the result that I am really ahead of the game for the coming years admin. I haveAnd so Canute College re-opens for another academic written all of next summers school reports, even foryear; a year when the staff and children will be trying to the children who have yet to join the school, I havecatch up on what they missed last year, and a year when written references for all the members of staff that Ithe governors will be trying to catch up on what they hope will leave, even before Ive fired them, and I havemissed eating here last yeareven drafted my speech for next years prize-giving, highlighting our successful sports programme, our brilliant community outreach work, and of course our fantastic academic results. What a result!I say that the results will be fantastic because for once I know they will be. Teacher assessment for GCSE and A-levels is a great educational innovation and even better is the governments latest idea of giving the students the questions in advance. As long as our staff can prepare enough background evidence to support A grades for everyone, Canute College should reach the top of the league tables and, with luck, I will be awarded a knighthood for brilliance in academic leadership. Thoroughly well deserved, though I say it myself. And, of course, in line with the true spirit of teacher assessment.Less brilliant, of course, is our governing body, who would fail any exam in strategy setting but would get A* grades for gluttony, even without easy marking by 38 www.independentinsight.netIwww.iexcellence.co.ukIwww.i25awards.co.uk'